I Know I'm Not The Only One
by Nicole Elisabeth Harding
Summary: Emma Swan has been through something that no one should ever have to experience. Her coping method is to never care about anyone ever again. She thinks no one can ever understand what she went through. But she's wrong.
1. Chapter 1

"Mom! MOM!"

"Henry!" I called back frantically.

I was pushing my way through a hallway full of young children attempting to surge in the opposite direction. Several more gunshots sounded and I flinched instinctively. I glanced down the hallway again and wasn't able to catch sight of my son.

"Kids! Kids, in here!" I said, grabbing as many little arms as I could and herding them into a nearby classroom.

More gunshots. The floor was already littered with bodies. I couldn't tell how many were still alive. I stifled a sob as I recognized two of my third graders lying in pools of their own blood. I rushed the kids to the other end of the classroom and into the tiny bathroom set up for the students.

"I'm going to be right back," I promised. "Be as quiet as you can and don't open this door, no matter what. Okay?"

I gazed at their wide eyes and fearful expressions as I shut the door and scooted desks to block it. After making it as secure as possible, I ran for the hallways. There were a few stragglers still screaming and running for something.

I ran back down the hallway to where I had seen Henry last. That's when I saw him.

"Oh no… Not my baby," I moaned.

I slid to my knees at his motionless side and took in the sight of his wide, staring eyes and pale, lifeless skin. There was a small bullethole in his forehead. I prayed that it had been a quick and painless death.

"Henry, no," I cried.

My fingers became soaked with blood as I cradled his limp head in my arms and kissed his hair softly.

"I'm so sorry. I should've protected you," I whispered. "It was my job to keep you safe."

I heard a noise to my left and barely glanced up before he fired. The bullet went clean through my shoulder. The burning almost caused me to pass out as I lay on the floor next to my dead son. But all I could think about was how much I hated the idiot who had killed Henry. I was on my feet before I even realized what was happening. As I ran down the hallway, the gunman fired twice and missed. I caught him in a flying tackle and knocked him backwards onto the floor. His head hit the tile hard.

I fell unconscious before I could get up.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Months Later…_

"Emma, I'm coming over whether you like it or not. Leave the door unlocked if you don't want to get up to let me in."

Mary Margaret's voicemail was short and to the point. I deleted it and fell back onto the couch, pulling my blanket back over myself. I unmuted the TV and let myself get back into the adventures of Rick and his crew in The Walking Dead.

She knocked softly on the door when she arrived. Then after waiting a few seconds, she just walked in. She was carrying a 9x9 pan of what smelled like lasagna. That was enough to get me to look away from the TV screen and in her direction.

"Mary Margaret, I told you that you don't have to bring me food."

My voice was listless and tired.

"Until you prove to me that you're not starving yourself and watching Netflix all day long, I will continue caring about you."

"I'm fine."

"At least go for a five minute walk on the beach. Or just go work on your tan," she said.

"You're not my mother. I'm fine."

"Did you go to your counseling appointment today?" she persisted.

"Leave her alone," David said as he nudged his way in through the open door.

He was carrying two sacks of groceries which he set on my counter.

"In the two months since what happened, she hasn't made any effort to go. No matter how many times we set it up for her," he sighed. "She'll go when she's ready to go. You know it's not as easy as just hopping in a car and driving there."

"Thanks, David," I said, turning back to the TV.

"I'm not encouraging this behavior, Emma," he protested. "You're an adult and you need to start acting like one. But what you went through was horrible. No one should have to lose a child, ever. Let alone in such circumstances."

My face went white.

"Go. Just go," I said in a low voice.

"Emma, we just want to help," Mary Margaret said softly.

"Get out of here!" I yelled. "Before I get you two hurt. Everyone around me dies. Everyone. Save yourselves while you still can."

"Emma," she said, pleading.

"I said the wrong thing, Mary Margaret. She'll be okay. She just needs some time," David coaxed her.

I turned away as they quietly left. Only after I heard the door shut, did I allow myself to cry. Tears for my lost son. Tears for the broken person I'd become. Tears because I had lost hope of ever feeling whole again.

My life hadn't been easy from the very start. Henry had been the thing that had brought sunshine into my life and made me happy to get out of bed and see his smiling face in the morning. I had been making sure that his future was nothing like what I'd suffered through. He loved me when I thought no one ever would.

I don't know how long I sat blankly looking at the wall before my eyes dried. And it was even longer before I reached for the remote and unpaused my show. This was my escape. This was the only way I could live with myself.


	3. Chapter 3

I pulled back the curtains the tiniest bit and peeked outside. I blinked and squinted at the bright sunlight and immediately shut the curtains again. I had a strange craving for a donut but there was no way I was going out to get one. Too bad donut places don't usually deliver. It had been a week since my blow-up at Mary Margaret and David. And despite my moping about and shouting, they still brought me groceries and tried to get me up and moving.

"Mary Margaret, I need a favor," I said, calling her up on the phone.

"Anything, sweetheart. It's been forever since you've asked me for anything," she commented.

"I need a donut," I said softly. "And a hug wouldn't be refused either."

"I'll be over in a little bit."

When she hung up, I stood silently in my kitchen for a few minutes instead of immediately returning to the couch like usual. I opened up the fridge and reached for the large bottle of Dr. Pepper. I used to drink it religiously. And Mary Margaret still kept it in my fridge in case I recovered my taste for it.

I poured myself a glass and walked slowly upstairs. It must have been a day for miracles because I actually felt like showering. And judging from my greasy, matted hair, and strong body odor, I could use one badly.

At first, I just sat on the floor of the shower with hot water pounding my back as I sipped my drink and let my thoughts wander. Wander to washing a toddler in a bathtub similar to this one. His happy arms flailing and splashing as he laughed and smiled at me. He hadn't had a worry in the world.

The glass slipped from my hands and shattered on the shower floor. The sound caused me to wake from my daydream and jump to my feet. I barely winced as a piece of glass cut the bottom of my foot. Instead, I calmly started shampooing my hair and scrubbing at my body. Blood washed down the drain with the bubbles.

I turned off the water and stepped from the shower, barely noticing the pain in my foot. I patted myself dry with a towel and slid into some fresh clothes that had been folded in the cupboard next to the towels.

I put a sock over my foot and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Mary Margaret was waiting for me with a small bag and a cup of hot chocolate.

She noticed that I had showered but she chose not to comment. Instead she pulled me into her arms and held me tight.

"I brought your favorite," she said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"What are friends for?" she smiled.

She seemed happy that we were interacting positively. And when she left a half hour later, saying she was late to cook dinner for David, she gave me another hug and told me to call her if I needed anything else. l walked her to the door and locked it behind her.

Unwilling to surrender to the comfort of my couch and sink back into my pit of despair, I walked to the back of the house and opened the door. My deck had a set of stairs that led directly to the beach. One of the perks of inheriting this house from my uncle was that it had been set up as the ultimate rich person's getaway. I hadn't been rich until my last living relative had died, leaving me everything. Henry and I had just moved in a few weeks before… it happened.

I sank into one of the reclining chairs and looked out at the waves.

I had to shade my eyes a little from the setting sun. I was watching a couple of people walking along the beach in different directions when an enthusiastic golden retriever came running up the steps and onto my deck. It jumped up onto my lap and panted happily as it sniffed my face.

I found myself laughing as I pushed the slobbery head away from mine.

"Aren't you cute?" I said softly, rubbing its fur.

"Goldie! Goldie! No!" a man came running up the stairs, breathing hard. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay," I said. "He wasn't doing any harm."

"She," the man corrected. "She just got away from me. I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

"I said, it's okay," I repeated.

I continued stroking the dog as she sat in my lap.

"Your name is Goldie?" I asked the dog. "That's not very original, but it suits you, I think."

"My name is Killian," the man offered. "Killian Jones."

"I'm Emma," I said shortly. "You and your dog should probably go now."

The man hurried forward and grabbed the dog's collar in both hands. I watched as they moved towards the stairs.

"Thank you for being understanding," Killian said. "Maybe I'll see you around. I walk past here almost every evening."

"Maybe," I said. "But don't count on it."

I turned away and after a second or two of awkward silence, he left, taking his overenthusiastic retriever with him.

Even though I had been slightly cold towards him, I still found myself wondering if I would see him again. And it was that thought that was on my mind as I drifted off to sleep that night, not the usual thoughts of Henry lying dead in my arms.


	4. Chapter 4

The following day I made the conscious decision not to sit out on the deck in the evening. But I would be lying if I said I didn't peek out the back windows once or twice to see if I could spot the rambunctious dog. I found it hard to focus on my usual wallowing and endless TV watching. I even vacuumed the floor in the living room before becoming too tired to continue.

I wandered into Henry's room for the first time since the shooting. Only then were all thoughts of the mysterious man and his dog abandoned. I spent a good couple of hours sitting on the floor holding Henry's stuffed giraffe and crying. All of his clothes were stuffed in the closet from that morning when I'd hurriedly ordered him to clean up his room before school. A layer of dust rested on all of his bookshelves. I traced a finger along all of his favorite books. I found a framed picture from Henry's last birthday. Mary Margaret had snapped a picture of Henry and I as I was leaning to help him blow out the candles. His entire face was a delighted grin and his eyes were glancing sideways at me.

It had been a perfect day.

In desperation, I turned and threw the picture against the far wall. The glass broke and it lay face down on the floor. I practically ran from the room and slammed the door shut. Fumbling, I reached for the key above his door and shakily locked the room. I ran downstairs with the key and out onto the deck, where I hurled it as far as I could, out onto the sand. Only then did I sink to my knees and cover my mouth with a hand as I started crying again.

Nothing good lasts forever, right?


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up on my deck. I didn't remember falling asleep the night before. Apparently, I had sobbed myself to sleep after throwing the key out. I stumbled to my feet and back into the house. I dug around in the kitchen drawers until I found my abandoned car keys. I hadn't been up to driving in quite a while.

Without even bothering to put shoes or a jacket on, I walked out to my car and drove away. I didn't realize where I wanted to go until I pulled into the school parking lot. I hadn't been back since it happened. The sight that brought tears to my eyes was the chain link fence in front of the school. The entire length of the fence was woven with flowers and pieces of paper.

I parked my car and walked up and down the length of the fence, reading the messages.

 _Sophia: We'll never forget you. You were a ray of sunshine in a world of darkness._

 _ **You saved my life by shielding me. I wish I could thank you.**_

 _Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the families who were affected by this._

 _ **I miss your smile.**_

 _Heaven gained a lot of angels on that day._

 _ **Patrick, I hope you're in a better place.**_

It was a while before I came across one about Henry.

 _It doesn't seem fair that you died and I lived. I miss my best friend, Henry._

At that point, I had to step away. I was in no shape to drive home. I probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place. I called Mary Margaret and she came right away. I was sitting in front of the fence when she arrived. She walked up quietly and sat beside me.

"The first note and flowers appeared not even an hour after everything happened," Mary Margaret said quietly. "I think there's a few up there for you. You saved a lot of lives by hiding those kids. And no one's seen you since the shooting. They wanted to thank you in some small way."

"My son died because I saved those kids," I said, wiping at tears. "I don't regret what I did, but I wish… I wish there had been some way to do both. He didn't deserve to die, Mary Margaret."

"No one who died that day, deserved to die," she replied. "I don't know why it happened but you can't change it."

"I know. I just… I wanted him to have a good life," I sobbed. "I wanted us both to have a good life."

"He did have a good life."

Mary Margaret put her arm around me and pulled me closer as I started crying harder.

After a while, she got me into her car and drove me home. She settled me on the couch with some reheated lasagna and turned on Netflix for me.

"If this is how you cope for a while, that's fine," she said. "But one day you're going to find something else to live for."

She sat with me until I drifted off to sleep and when I woke, she was gone. She'd left a note on the counter telling me that she and David would bring my car back from the school for me and to call if I needed anything.

It was approaching sunset and I found myself walking out to the deck with a mug of tea and honey.

Sure enough, within minutes, the golden retriever bounded up onto my lap and started licking my face. About thirty seconds later, her red-faced owner came up the steps.

"I didn't see you yesterday," he said casually.

"I told you not to count on it," I replied coolly.

I petted the dog as he stood there.

"She really likes you," he commented. "Do you have a dog?"

I shook my head. That was something Henry and I had been talking about doing since we had a home to ourselves. But we'd never gotten around to doing it.

"Well you're welcome to borrow my bag of fleas whenever you're feeling lonely," Killian offered. "She won't take no for an answer."

"Thank you," I said.

"I'm going to finish my walk now," he said, grabbing for his dog's collar. "See you tomorrow."

I didn't argue with him. And I didn't turn away, instead watching him and his dog leave.

"Good-bye, Emma," he called from the bottom of the steps.

"Good-bye," I said softly.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, I purposefully didn't go out onto the deck. But I did watch from the second story window as Killian and his dog walked past. Or I should say, ran past. He was hurrying to catch up with the energetic Goldie. I found myself stifling a laugh as I watched. Then immediately turned away and hurried downstairs to the TV. Laughing wasn't something that I deserved to do anymore. Henry and I used to laugh together.

Mary Margaret came over the day after that, bringing David with her.

"Ms. Robins saw you the other day when you were outside the school and she asked me to give this to you," she announced as she walked in the door.

She handed me a colorful basket filled with various items.

"Body wash, shampoo, and lotion," I listed off. "Is she trying to say something about my smell?"

Mary Margaret laughed. "It's a kind gesture."

"I'll take that body wash if you don't want it," David joked.

Mary Margaret smacked him playfully in the shoulder.

"What? Green apple is my favorite scent…" he winked at his wife.

"I brought stuff for hamburgers and hot dogs," Mary Margaret changed the subject.

"I have a grill out back but I don't know how to use it," I hedged.

"That's why I brought David."

I stood and watched as they took over my kitchen preparing dinner. I wasn't even that hungry, but I didn't want to hurt Mary Margaret's feelings. But when I heard a familiar voice from the deck, I froze.

"Oh I'm so sorry," he said just as breathlessly.

"Nice dog," David was saying.

Goldie. Of course.

"Does Emma still live here?" Killian asked.

"Yeah, my wife and I are friends of hers. We're just visiting," David replied easily. "How do you know Emma?"

"My dog likes her deck for some reason," he said. "To my extreme embarrassment."

"Emma! You're friend, Killian is here!" David called. Then lowering his voice he continued talking to Killian. "Just a word of advice, if you want to be her friend, don't let her push you away."

"She is pretty distant at times."

"David, stop pretending you're an expert on Emma!" Mary Margaret yelled.

She smiled at me and then continued slicing tomatoes. I rolled my eyes and sank back onto the couch where I was out of sight. I half listened to their conversation, which turned to football. Typical men.

Mary Margaret walked over and leaned across the couch (and me) to grab the TV remote.

"There's a new episode of New Girl on tonight," she explained. "And I know David won't let me watch it at home so we're watching it right now."

"I've been recording it…" I admitted.

"See?" she beamed. "This is why we're best friends."

I was pretty sure David heard our exchange because a second later he came back in with a plate of meat and started talking to us.

"Hey there's a game on right now and I invited Killian to join us."

Mary Margaret and I both turned and glared at him.

"My TV. My house. My rules," I said.

"I'd love to watch the latest New Girl episode," Killian said, poking his head through the door.

Goldie took that as a sign that she could come in and immediately jumped onto me. I stroked her fur and she lay down. She was a little heavy but I didn't mind.

"I'll bring you a hamburger," Mary Margaret laughed.

"Thanks, hon," I said drily.

I wasn't happy about David inviting Killian, but what could I say? Killian annoyed me but part of me wondered if it wasn't just because I push everyone away since the accident. Henry had been the only good man in my life and no one could ever be as good as him.

So I remained completely silent for the rest of the night. Mary Margaret and David loved Killian and kept him talking and talking about his life. Apparently he is a police detective. And he had worked on the shooting incident at the school. I tried to tune it out. He kept talking because he hadn't made the connection between my name and the school shooting. Mary Margaret kept glancing at me, but I pretended that I was focusing on the show.

I didn't want to know anything about the shooter. I didn't want to know why he had done those things. I didn't want to hear about his hard family life. I didn't want to hear about how he was still alive when my son was dead.


	7. Chapter 7

" _Did you say Emma?" Killian's partner asked. "Emma Swan?"_

" _Yes, that's her name," he replied off-handedly._

" _Man, how could you not remember? Her name was in like all of our reports from the shooting," Robin said. "She was that teacher who saved a bunch of the kids. And her own son was killed."_

" _What?" Killian swiveled in his chair. "How could I be so stupid? I should've remembered that."_

" _Please tell me you didn't do something stupid like talk about it in front of her," Robin sighed. "I don't think a person could ever recover from something like that."_

 _Killian buried his face in his hands. For the rest of his work day, he had a sick feeling in his stomach. What a hell he must have put Emma through, talking about the shooting in front of her like that. And he barely knew her._

 _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

 _He'd have to fix this somehow._

 _As soon as he got off work, Killian drove home and was greeted by Goldie. And just like he did pretty much every other day, he changed into jogging clothes and set out onto the beach. Only this time, his thoughts were preoccupied with the one and only Emma Swan. He couldn't even imagine the pain that she must still feel for her dead son._

 _He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice as he neared her house and Goldie took off. A few seconds later, he realized what had happened and ran after his dog. But it was too late._

" _This is becoming a bad habit," Emma said quietly, her hand on the dog's collar. "I might have to confiscate your dog."_

" _I'm sure she wouldn't mind that," Killian said nervously._

 _He wasn't sure whether he should even bring it up to apologize. Maybe a look would suffice? Or be less painful._

" _Stop giving me that look," Emma said coolly. "Somebody reminded you who I was, didn't they?"_

 _All he could do was nod._

" _Maybe be more careful in the future," was all she said._

 _And at that, she turned and walked back into her house, leaving Killian and his dog standing on her back deck._

" _Well that could've been worse," he muttered to himself._

 _But the sick feeling in his stomach didn't go away._


	8. Chapter 8

"We're going to the grocery store today," Mary Margaret announced from her lounging position in my armchair.

"What? Are you tired of buying my groceries for me?" I said drily.

Mary Margaret looked at me for a second.

"Did you just make a joke?" she asked incredulously. "That's a side of Emma Swan I haven't seen in awhile."

I kept quiet and just stared at her. I knew she was right. But it made me kind of embarrassed that she had pointed it out. Heaven knows I'd been a horrible friend these past few months.

"Anyway," she cleared her throat. "Let's go."

She tossed me a pair of moccasins and stood to go get her own shoes.

"Which store?" I asked nervously.

"Just the small one down the street by five miles," Mary Margaret assured me. "Everyone goes to Walmart nowadays so you'll be fine."

I slid on my shoes and pulled on a sweater over my t-shirt. It was a chilly day outside. Hence, why Mary Margaret and I were inside drinking hot chocolate and watching chick flicks.

"If we run into anyone, I'll run interference for you," she promised, sensing my slight hesitation still.

I grabbed my purse from off the counter and followed her out to her car. I was gently wringing my hands the entire drive to the store. Mary Margaret tried to distract me with music and light conversation, but all I could think about was how much I didn't want to be out of my house. Henry used to come grocery shopping with me. I didn't even need a list. He would always just tell me what we needed. And he would sneak in a few sugary treats for himself. He wasn't that sneaky, but I always enjoyed getting him things he wanted.

When we arrived, Mary Margaret handed me a piece of paper as she walked towards the entrance.

"I made this list for you."

She grabbed a small shopping cart and moved confidently through the store. I paused for a few seconds, staring around me. I looked down at the list, but had trouble focusing on Mary Margaret's elegant hand-writing. I don't know how long I was standing in the produce section before someone lightly touched my elbow and drew my attention.

"Emma?"

I turned my head to find Killian there, looking concerned.

"Yes, sorry," I said quickly. "I was just thinking about what to get."

"You have a list," he pointed out.

"Well, you know I always forget to write things down," I fabricated. "I must look crazy, standing by myself in a store, staring off into space."

I forced a laugh and pretended to examine my list.

"I wouldn't say crazy," Killian said carefully. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I smiled big.

Apparently, my acting skills needed work, because the next moment, I was leaning against the apple display and covering my face while I cried. Killian seemed unsure of what to do. After a second or two of just staring at me, he snatched the list from my hands and perused it.

"Looks like you need some peaches," he said.

He grabbed my arm and led me around the store, getting all of the items I needed. I stopped crying eventually and just watched him as he picked out food for me.

"I think you need some chocolate," he said after reaching the end of the list.

Mary Margaret found us in the chocolate aisle.

"Emma? Did you get everything?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," I insisted. "I just ran into Killian."

"Well that's fun," Mary Margaret said hesitantly.

I think she could tell that I'd been crying. Unfortunately, my face got all puffy and red when I cried. I hated it.

"Well I think I'll go now," Killian said. "I have to get some things and get back to my brother."

He handed me a bar of chocolate and escaped into another part of the grocery store.

"I'm ready if you are," Mary Margaret said diplomatically.

I nodded and followed her to the register. I glanced over my shoulder a few times to see if Killian was in sight. And then I forced myself to stop. I wasn't supposed to care about anyone after Henry. I had learned my lesson the hard way.

So Mary Margaret and I paid for our groceries and drove to my house. I put everything away and then sat on the couch as Mary Margaret left to take her own food home. I clutched the chocolate bar in my hand as I watched some random re-run TV show that was playing. I wasn't happy with the way I'd become, but I didn't see a way out.


	9. Chapter 9

It was only after Goldie's sixth or seventh visit that I realized what was missing from my life, besides the obvious. A dog is no replacement for a child but maybe it would help me feel less alone. After all, I couldn't let Mary Margaret continue visiting every other day. She had her own life to live.

Henry and I had gone to visit the local shelter a few times. However, we'd never decided which dog we wanted to take home. I stood at the kitchen window thinking about it for a while. Then finally, I grabbed my phone and dialed the number. Ruby, the owner, was thrilled to hear from me. She had given us a tour when we'd gone last. She had a soft spot in her heart for Henry.

Ruby assured me that they had a variety of good dogs that I would certainly be happy with any of them. She also told me everything I needed to bring with me and was happy to set up an appointment for me to come visit in the next two hours. That gave me enough time after I hung up the phone to take a shower and dress in adult clothes. I even applied a little bit of make-up.

I tried not to remember the last time I had driven to the dog shelter. But my eyes were a little watery as I pulled into a parking spot. I took a deep breath and blinked away the impending tears and climbed out of my car. Ruby must have seen me pull in from her office window, as she walked out to greet me.

"Oh sweetie," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I know you're probably tired of people mentioning it, but I can't even imagine what you've been through."

I let myself be comforted by the hug. I was tired of it being brought up, but I also knew that I wasn't going to get over it by pretending it never happened. In every book or movie or history lesson, it seemed like the moral was always to face your problems. It never worked out if you ran away from them. Unfortunately, running away was the thing I wanted to do. I wasn't strong enough to face anything.

"Having a dog will be good for you," Ruby promised. "And it's what Henry always wanted."

All I could do was nod. It was all he had talked about for weeks.

Ruby turned the conversation to other things as she walked with me into the shelter. I only paused for a moment or two as we passed by the cat kennels. They were cute, but Henry had always been allergic. Ruby stopped by a few kennels in particular to show me some dogs that she thought would be a good fit. They were all beautiful, well-groomed animals. It wasn't until we got to the husky's cage that I really saw what I wanted. There was a beautiful black, grey, and white husky with piercing blue eyes that sat in the corner gazing at us intelligently. The dog looked pretty young still but not like a puppy that still needed to be trained.

"What's this one's name?" I asked.

"Shadow," Ruby said. "He was rescued from an abusive family. It took quite a lot of time for him to start trusting me, but he really is a loving animal."

"May I?" I asked, gesturing to the cage.

"Carefully," she cautioned. "Show him that you don't mean him any harm or he may react to defend himself."

It reminded me a little bit of how I felt sometimes. And I could see a little bit of fear as I slowly approached him. I knew what that was like; to be worried that letting anyone near you would just end up with you getting hurt. I wished I could tell Shadow not to worry. He would be safe with me. I would never let anyone hurt him. And I hoped that he would do the same for me.

As soon as I told Ruby I had decided, she pulled me into the office and handed me the paperwork.

"It'll take me a little bit to process them, and I figure you need some time to go buy some supplies," Ruby said. "So why don't you come back for him tomorrow?"

I nodded and quickly scribbled my information onto the papers. Ruby glanced over them to make sure I hadn't skipped anything and then promised me that I could come back first thing in the morning.

I left feeling strangely lighter inside than I had felt in a while. I called Mary Margaret on the way home and shared the news. She was understandably a little shocked for a lot of reasons but she tried to recover quickly.

"Better not tell David about the dog or you'll never have any peace again," she laughed. "He's been begging me to let us get one for a while now."

"Do you not like dogs or something?" I asked with a small laugh.

"No," she hesitated. "I just don't think having a dog running around and having a baby at the same time is a good idea."

I froze.

"Wait, what?" I demanded.

She laughed nervously.

"I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I just found out this week."

"Oh my goodness! That's amazing!" I exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you! Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Well, it's kind of insensitive to rub your happiness in other people's faces when they're going through hard times," Mary Margaret said. "I was trying not to hurt you."

"Of course you're not hurting me," I assured her.

But even as I spoke the words, I could feel the familiar dull ache return. I attempted to shake it off and continued celebrating with my friend over her wonderful news. There was absolutely no reason why I couldn't be happy for her. Mary Margaret seemed relieved that I wasn't upset at her excitement.

"Hey I've got to go, but I'm inviting you over once I've brought Shadow home," I promised.

Mary Margaret agreed wholeheartedly. I hung up and climbed out of my car. I checked the time as I grabbed a can of soda from my fridge and purposefully settled out on the deck where I could watch the people coming and going down the beach. Killian had Goldie on a leash today so she didn't come running up onto my deck. So I tossed aside my shoes and went running after him. The slightly embarrassing part was that it took me quite a while to catch up and I wasn't exactly breathing normally by the time I did. I must have been more out of shape than I thought.

Killian looked incredibly surprised when he saw me. I honestly couldn't blame him. I had been pretty cold and aloof most of the times he had seen me.

"Emma?" he said, pulling out his headphones and pulling Goldie to a stop.

"Hi," I said slowly.

"What brings you out here?" he asked. "You're not exactly dressed for a jog along the beach, otherwise I would invite you to join me."

I glanced down at my jeans and sweater and shook my head.

"You didn't stop by today, and I had some news for you," I explained.

"I apologize," he laughed. "I thought you could use a break from our frequent intrusions on your privacy."

"I'm getting a dog," I changed the subject. "So if Goldie ever needed some company, she'd be welcome to come visit."

"Wow, that's awesome," Killian exclaimed. "I might just take you up on that. Have you been able to find everything you need at the pet store?"

"I haven't been yet," I admitted. "I just got back from the shelter."

"I'm sure you'll have no trouble," he said. "But let me know if you need any help. I like to think of myself as the resident expert in these parts."

I found myself laughing at his words. Obviously, owning one dog didn't make you an expert but he did know more than I did.

"Can I see your phone?" he asked.

I handed it over tentatively. He quickly entered in his information and handed it back.

"There. Now you can call if you need company picking out dog food," he smiled.

"Thank you," I said.

I leaned down and pet Goldie's soft head before turning back to my house.

"Bye, Emma," Killian said, putting his headphones back in and taking off down the beach.

I walked backwards for a few steps, watching him, and then turned around. I waited until I was safely in my house before looking down at my phone and smiling a little bit.


End file.
